Leo Tunachachisha tena.
So imagine umeet up na huyu msee, eeey ameiva ako na musles wuueh, yaaani anakutesa tu, unasalivate ukiomwona, then he greets you mnachachishiana manumber hapo ,and you all start going out, and thing seem pretty well for both of you.
Mazee kameshika kameshika, Dem umeanza kuwa na hopes and all that.
You get really excited about all the potential and possibilities … he’s gone. Either he does the “fadeaway” and pulls away slowly over time, or he straight up ghosts you and vanishes into the abyss.
What. Just. Happened.
What just happened?!
Yani amekutoka tu ivo foshoo (for sure). And everything was floating right pretty well, what happened?
-a state of despair, typically one which results in rash or extreme behaviour.
You want him and want him to want you, and that’s all you’re focused on
But the stench of desperation poisons everything, and you can’t mask it no matter how hard you try.
READ MORE:Tuchachishe: If He Hurts You, Leave Him
You just want him to see you as the cool girl, you put up a bad behaviour just to show up for him.
You don’t want to be that naggy, needy woman so you let him get away with everything and are too scared to voice your feelings for fear of rocking the boat. But this doesn’t get him to like you, it just makes you come across as someone with no standards and no self-respect who will tolerate any treatment from him.
The minute you’re the one trying to win him over, the dynamic totally changes and that’s how you get sucked in a dead-end relationship or in no relationship because he just leaves.
Desperation comes from needing validation- the feeling of I’m not OK and this person makes you feel OK so you cling onto him for dear life.
You were solely focused on the potential of what could be … on where this could go … and maybe you got a little too carried away with it.
You weren’t seeing him for who he is because you didn’t even know him yet. Maybe you were seeing this as an opportunity to finally be in a relationship … rather an opportunity to connect with someone else and get to know them.
People intuitively sense it when someone is interacting with us as an object, as a means to fulfill their own desires. You aren’t connecting to his true essence, you are connecting to an ideal.
You act like his girlfriend before you are this girlfriend. You’re so scared of losing him, you’ll do anything to keep him.
Essentially, you and he are on two different pages. He’s still feeling you out, and you are already sold.
This is too much pressure for a guy. Guys appreciate having the freedom and the space to choose … they do not appreciate being backed into a corner and forced into a commitment.
And a guy does not feel compelled to commit because you’ve devoted yourself to him. If anything, that’s unappealing because it doesn’t feel earned. We can never truly appreciate the value of something that we didn’t earn.
4.He was never that into you in the first place
A lot of the time we want him to feel a certain way about us and we want it so badly that we hone in on specific things rather than looking at the big picture.
You can’t look at individual puzzle pieces, because they can be interpreted in any way you’d like. You need to look at the full picture.
Sometimes guys just say things. What he says isn’t an accurate indication of how he feels. Men communicate through actions more than words. So if he tells you he really likes you, but then he disappears for days at a time and blows you off and won’t make it official, then he doesn’t really like you. If he says he likes you, and he backs it up with actions, then he probably does like you.